Excerpt from: My Life, On the Edge May 2006
On a recent trip to Colorado I had the opportunity to experience outdoor adventure as treatment first hand. Sometimes it is necessary to take a break and get away in order to find one's self, and to analyze and process our thoughts and feelings so that we may learn from them in order to better ourselves. It has been my experience that there is no better place for this than the wilderness. It has been a rough year for me. I have made it through many character building experiences and am a better person because of it. I have learned much about myself and although it has been one of the most challenging years of my life, I am better for having experienced it. I will never again loose sight of who I am and those things that are most important to me. I have found my peace.
I look out across Colorado's vast landscape. The view from the top of Sunlight Mountain's 10,000 ft summit is breathtaking. Reaching down, I lock into my bindings and start my descent, carving down the mountain on my snowboard. The wind ripping at my body.... Spray from the fresh powder hitting my face, sticking to my goggles.... Heart racing.... G-forces grinding me into the mountain face.... Hearing nothing but the sound of the razor sharp edges of my board as it cuts into the mountainside, leaving behind a deep gash that is quickly filled by the swirling snow. Struggling to see through clouded goggles.... Sights, sounds, adrenaline coursing through my body.... Thinking of nothing.... Living the moment. In a spray of snow, I stop. Looking out across the mountain range I reflect back on my life to this point. Feelings and emotions from the past two years of my life come rushing back to me like a flood. The pain, frustration, joy, sadness, stress, anguish, and finally, peace.
--The following is an excerpt from my Adventure Journal, which is evolving into the form of a book entitled, My Life, On the Edge.--
Early yesterday morning as the sun came up over the rock formations to the east, the warm rays of sunshine touching my skin through an open window and filling the room with golden light.... I participated in a traditional Dine (Navajo) ceremony, to restore harmony in my life.
First I drank a tea, brewed from sage and four of the trees that grow on the mountain. The tea is said to detoxify and rid the body of all evil and bad things. The tea is ingested each morning for four days. Four days is significant because of the number four. In the Dine (Navajo) culture the four directions are important. There are four sacred mountains. Tsisnaasjini' (Mount Blanca - Dawn or White Shell Mountain) the Sacred Mountain of the East near Alamosa in San Luis Valley, Colorado; Tsoodzil (Mount Taylor - Blue Bead or Turquoise Mountain) the Sacred Mountain of the South, north of Laguna, New Mexico; Doko'oosliid (San Francisco Peaks - Abalone Shell Mountain) the Sacred Mountain of the West near Flagstaff, Arizona; and Dibé Nitsaa (Mount Hesperus - Big Mountain Sheep - Obsidian Mountain) the Sacred Mountain of the North, La Plata Mountains, Colorado. Each mountain represents a phase in life, beginning in the east with the rising sun. Continuing south, west and finally north.
After drinking the cleansing tea I sat upon a traditional hand woven rug and performed the first part of the ceremony. Small minerals were used that represent each color of the earth. I chose one to represent each element in my life. After choosing a mineral I held it up to the light (sun) and though of what it would symbolize for me. Then I placed it in front of me on a piece of cloth. One colored mineral from the earth represented each thing important in my life. I chose a white mineral for myself to symbolize purity of mind and soul. Then other colors to represent the other aspects of my life. One differently colored mineral each for my mother, my father, my brothers, one for the land, the animals and for all possessions.
Next, feathers were taken from the right and left wings, the tail, the breast and the down. Each feather was touched to the palm of my right hand and held up to the light, and then placed upon the cloth in front of me. The greatest of these was the feathers from the eagle All the time this was happening I was being prayed for in my native language and I prayed to my god to bless each of these elements that symbolized important parts of my life. Corn pollen was also an important part of the ceremony because it represents life to the Dine people.
I was asked to remove my shoes. They were blessed so they will carry me down the right path. Then I smoked. Blowing smoke from the ceremonial pipe in each of the four directions, east, south, west, and north, then all around the circle that is myself. I then blew smoke onto my legs that they may be strong and lead me down the right path; my torso that I may be healthy; my arms that they may be strong; my hands that they may show respect, kindness and love; my heart that it may show me the way and it may radiate the love that is within me; my face that it may express happiness and love; my mouth that I may always speak the truth; my head that my mind may be healed and I may find peace to become the person that I know I am.
As the ceremony continued, each part of my body was blessed with ash from the pipe which also included shavings from the ram's horn. It is said that the ram's horn creates sparks on the rocks as it comes down the mountain. These sparks symbolize the spark that will reignite the balance within myself.
I went outside, knelt, and placed the contents of the cloth at the base of a pinion tree. There I prayed to god to restore harmony in my life; to allow me to find and become the person I had lost. I prayed that I would know deep in my heart the path to take and would have the strength to follow it. I prayed for health and blessings upon each part of my life symbolized by the colored minerals and for harmony to be restored to each of them. Under the Pinion tree I buried the cloth, folded to contain the colored minerals. I rose, turning to the east and walked away, beginning my long journey home. (Jeff DeMent. My Life, On the Edge. May 2006.)
No matter where I go or what I do, I will never forget the lessons of the past years. As challenging as things sometimes seem, if we are open minded there is something that can be learned from each and every experience. I believe that there are no bad experiences, only character building ones. It is what we learn about ourselves that develops our character and makes us who we are. -Jeff DeMent